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----------------THE---------CIRCUS--------------
One fine night i went to bed with a thrilling sensational
emotion because, we are going to the circus. It was super cool there were. Motorbikes in a globe there was a unintelligent clown and, some perplexing people that were, well trained and such astonishing and there. Was some flexible people that could do gymnastics and then it was half time and then me and.And my mum ran over to the Pizza Hut and we ordered about five pizza's and we had lunch under a tree the pizza's cost's about 25$. And then after that I rapidly ran over, to get some popcorn and some miniature donuts. With cinnamon on it and then, it was the best part out of the circus the guy he got into the canon and then we all done a count down 3,2,1 BLAST OFF and he came out of the canon like a canon BALL and that was the end of that. THE END
Kia ora Wijay, it’s Dayton from Paihia School, I really like your blog about you at the circus, I liked how you added detail to hook the reader because it can be good if you hook the reader up. I also liked how you explain what there was at the circus like the motorbike in the globe and the flexible people who can do gymnastics. What I think you did well was adding more detail to your writing because it can hook the reader up. I know that you enjoyed the circus that you have been but have you ever been to another circus before?
ReplyDeleteHope to comment again.
Kia ora Wijay, it’s Dayton from Paihia School, I really like your blog about you at the circus, I liked how you added detail to hook the reader because it can be good if you hook the reader up. I also liked how you explain what there was at the circus like the motorbike in the globe and the flexible people who can do gymnastics. What I think you did well was adding more detail to your writing because it can hook the reader up. I know that you enjoyed the circus that you have been but have you ever been to another circus before?
ReplyDeleteHope to comment again.
Aloha Wijay. I was overwhelmed with the big words that you have in this story. This was the first piece of writing, that I have seen you write. Even with big words. Maybe net time, you could add paragraphs, and ask for teacher support or help. This remind me of the time, when my family and I went to a circus, and it was really amazing. If you would like to. Check out my blog at: tssheeandratn.blogspot.co.nz. Blog you later.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Wijay my name is Fonz, I am a year 8 student at Paihia school. I like your blog post about going to the circus it is quite creative. I like circuses as well they are really cool and it is amazing some of the things the people there can do. Is there anything at the circus that you didn’t like?
ReplyDeleteno i literally liked everything about the circus it was pretty cool thank you blog with you soon
DeleteHi Wijay my name is Angela, I am a year 6 student & I go to Paihia School. The big words that you put in your writing made it really good. I like how you added more exciting words rather than simple plain words. Next time maybe you could express yourself more by telling us how you felt throughout the event. Would you want to be in a Circus one day?
ReplyDeleteHi Wijay my name is Angela, I am a year 6 student & I go to Paihia School. The big words that you put in your writing made it really good. I like how you added more exciting words rather than simple plain words. Next time maybe you could express yourself more by telling us how you felt throughout the event. Would you want to be in a Circus one day?
ReplyDeleteHi Wijay my name is Angela, I am a year 6 student & I go to Paihia School. The big words that you put in your writing made it really good. I like how you added more exciting words rather than simple plain words. Next time maybe you could express yourself more by telling us how you felt throughout the event. Would you want to be in a Circus one day?
ReplyDeleteHi Wijay my name is Angela, I am a year 6 student & I go to Paihia School. The big words that you put in your writing made it really good. I like how you added more exciting words rather than simple plain words. Next time maybe you could express yourself more by telling us how you felt throughout the event. Would you want to be in a Circus one day?
ReplyDeleteHi Wijay my name is Angela, I am a year 6 student & I go to Paihia School. The big words that you put in your writing made it really good. I like how you added more exciting words rather than simple plain words. Next time maybe you could express yourself more by telling us how you felt throughout the event. Would you want to be in a Circus one day?
ReplyDeleteah hi Angela thank you for the information i realy appreciate it thank you
ReplyDelete